A recent wedding I attended was a proverbial success: the bride and groom were on cloud 9, and more in love than Donny and Marie Osmond. The rest of us, unfortunately, were on cloud 3 (increasing to 4.25 during cocktail hour). Ever started a checklist of all the things wrong at your friend's wedding? Not a good sign. First off, they served mints (fantastic!), but failed to provide any sort of waste receptacle at the entire affair in which to dispose of them. Perhaps seemingly trite, but weddings are all about details, and I am carrying a fistful of plastic wrappers in every photo taken. Not my best look. Secondly, no one offered me a choice of entree. Not to mention that the bride was not only a vegetarian but a RAW vegan (same boat as scientology, in my book), so no delectable mammal carcass even had chance of surfacing on the menu. Maybe I don't like ONLY raw fruit, nuts or vegetables! (I do, but that is not the point). Lastly, it was a destination wedding and I was not invited to bring a guest. Who wants to be alone in paradise? I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and I'm aware of the emotional scar tissue these kinds of solitary torture can yield. Even if happily relationship-committed, the solo invite is not a gentle reminder but a clanging alarm that as of today, no, your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't like you! At least not enough to put a ring on it.
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Shocking. Who in their right mind would ever wear a dress like that? She should have just gone with no dress at all. Disgusting and disgraceful. She apparently wasn't a virgin.
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